programming / C++ / sailing / nerd stuff
© 2000-01-01 / Mario Konrad

C/C++ - a mythical language referred to by people who cannot or do not want to recognize the magnitude of differences between the facilities offered by C and C++.

-- Bjarne Stroustrup

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

-- George Bernard Shaw

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

-- Mahatma Ghandi

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.

-- Mahatma Ghandi

In der Welt ist genug da für jedermanns Bedarf; nicht aber für jedermanns Habgier...

-- Mahatma Ghandi

What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?

-- Mahatma Ghandi

Was mit Gewalt erlangt wird, kann nur mit Gewalt bewahrt werden.

-- Mahatma Ghandi

Stärke entspringt nicht aus physischer Kraft, sondern aus einem unbeugsamen Willen.

-- Mahatma Ghandi

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

-- Mahatma Ghandi

He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.

-- Brigham Young

Der Gedanke äussert sich als Wort
das Wort äussert sich als Tat
die Tat wird zur Gewohnheit
und Gewohnheit verhärtet sich zu Charakter.
Also beachte sorgsam die Gedanken und seine Wege
und lasse sie der Liebe entspringen.

-- Buddha

Eventually the revolutionaries become the established culture; and then what will they do?

-- Linus Torvalds

Really, I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect.

-- Linus Torvalds

Any problem in computer science can be solved with another layer of indirection. But that usually will create another problem.

-- David Wheeler

The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.

-- Tacitus

Those who can, do Those who can't, teach Those who can't teach, teach teachers

-- unknown

Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave

-- unknown

A rich man is one with knowledge, happiness, and his health

-- unknown

Never trust a tech who tattoes his IP to his arm, especially if DHCP

-- unknown

When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me

-- unknown

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

-- Revolution Books, NY

People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die.

-- Jim Davidson

Live every day, as it would be your last one.

-- unknown

It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.

-- B. Disraeli

Nothing is ever as simple as it looks.

-- Murphy's Law

Hierarchy is a kind of order of abstractions.

-- Grady Booch

If you want something you have to be willing to give something equivalent.

-- me

Perfection is achieved only on the point of callapse.

-- C. N. Parkinson

Keep it simple: as simple as possible, but not simpler.

-- Albert Einstein

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

-- J. Weizenbaum

Don't trust your eyes
they could trick you.
Don't trust your ears
they could lie to you.
Don't trust your thoughts
they only show you your fantasies.
Only trust your heart
it even beats for somebody else.

-- me, March 6, 1999

Einfach nur so

In deinen Armen liegen
und dich einfach nur berühren.
In deine Augen sehen
und dich einfach so küssen.
Die Augen schliessen
und einfach nur bei dir sein.
Sachen erzählen
und dich einfach so anlachen.
Mit dir telefonieren
und einfach nur reden.
Dich anschauen
und dich einfach so lieb haben.
Dauernd an dich denken.
Einfach nur so!

-- unknown

Run only if you have learned to walk. Walk only if you have learned to stand.

-- me, December 3, 1999

Siegen wird der, der weiss, wann er kämpfen muss und wann nicht.

-- Miyamoto Musashi, Gorin no Sho, Das Buch der fünf Ringe

Kämpfe niemals, wenn keine Aussicht auf Sieg besteht.

-- Miyamoto Musashi, Gorin no Sho, Das Buch der fünf Ringe

Wenn du den Feind und dich selbst kennst, brauchst du den Ausgang von hundert Schlachten nicht zu fürchten. Wenn du weder den Feind noch dich selbst kennst, wirst du in jeder Schlacht unterliegen.

-- Sun Tzu

Offenbare niemals deine wahren Absichten.

-- Myamoto Musashi

They that would give up essential liberty for temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

-- Benjamin Franklin

Old hackers never die - they just learn to type.

-- unknown

Each day in life is training
Training for myself
Though failure is possible
Living for each moment
Equal to anything
Ready for anything

I am alive
I am this moment
My future is here and now

For if I cannot endure today
When and where will I?

-- Soen Ozeki Daisen-in Temple, Kyoto

If I have seen farther than other men, it is only because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.

-- Isaac Newton

Never write it in C if you can do it in awk;
Never do it in awk if sed can handle it;
Never use sed when tr can do the job;
Never invoke tr when cat is sufficient;
Avoid using cat whenever possible.

-- Taylor's Laws of Programming

Only an open mind is big enough to contain the secrets of the universe

-- Vera Stanley Alder

In keinem Bereich menschlicher Leistungen sind so schlechte Ergebnisse erzielt worden wie in der Politik!

-- unknown

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

-- unknown

Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.

-- unknown

First they came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up, because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me.

-- Rev. Martin Niemoller, 1945

On the other hand, we cannot ignore efficiency.

-- John Bentley

Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC after reaching puberty.

-- unknown

The problem about all graphical programming languages is that when your project becomes complex, not only will you have spaghetti code, but it will actually look like spaghetti too.

-- unknown

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

-- Donald E. Knuth.

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code.

-- Christopher Thompson

A one-question geek test. If you get the joke, you're a geek: Seen on a California license plate on a VW Beetle: 'FEATURE'...

-- Joshua D. Wachs - Natural Intelligence, Inc.

I have NOT lost my mind! I have it backed up on tape somewhere.

-- unknown

...the best way to prepare [to be a programmer] is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and fished out listings of their operating system.

-- Bill Gates

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

-- Albert Einstein

I don't know how the third world war will be fought, but I do know that the fourth one will be fought with sticks and stones...

-- Albert Einstein

I have a hunch that the unknown sequences of DNA will decode into copyright notices and patent protections.

-- Donald E. Knuth

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

-- unknown

97.25% of statistics are wrong.

-- unknown

The Science Graduate asks "How does it work ?"
The Economics Graduate asks "How much does it cost?"
The Engineering Graduate asks "How can we make it?"
The Liberal Arts Graduate asks "Do you want fries with that?

-- Jesse N. Schell

Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.

-- Scott Adams

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

-- unknown

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not Eureka! ('I found it!') but rather hmm....that's funny...

-- Isaac Asimov

No one should approach the temple of science with the soul of a money changer.

-- Thomas Browne (1605-82), English physician and writer

If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.

-- Albert Einstein

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

-- Albert Einstein

A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years.

-- Wendell L. Willkie

Some people are wise, and some are otherwise.

-- unknown

Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

-- unknown

America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.

-- Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929), French statesman

The only people who have anything to fear from free software (such as GNAT) are those whose products are worth even less.

-- David Emery

Wahrheit ist die Erfindung eines Lügners

-- Heinz v. Foerster

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

-- Brook's Law, The mythical man month

It take 9 months to bear a child, no matter how many women you assign to the job.

-- Frederik Brooks Jr.

Gönne Dir einen Augenblick der Ruhe und Du begreifst,
wie närrisch Du herumgehastet bist.
Lerne zu schweigen und Du merkst,
dass Du zuviel geredet hast.
Sei gütig und Du siehst ein,
dass Dein Urteil über andere allzu hart war.

-- Tschen-Tschin

Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.

-- Erik Naggum

Brilliance is typically the act of an individual, but incredible stupidity can usually be traced to an organization.

-- Jon Bentley

Die Polizei ist stets Denkersatz für die Politik.

-- Urs Paul Engeler

The more prohibitions there are, The poorer the people will be

-- Lao Tse

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

-- Bumper sticker

If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.

-- Albert Einstein

We haven't the money, so we've got to think.

-- Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937), British physicist

If Mr. Edison had thought smarter he wouldn't sweat as much.

-- Nikola Tesla

It's quite simple actually: There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

-- unknown

There are 11 types of people: those who know binary, those who don't, and those who laugh cus they think they do but don't.

-- unknown

Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.

-- Henry Spencer

Allen ist das Denken erlaubt. Vielen bleibt es erspart.

-- Curt Goetz

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

-- Linda Ellerbee

Jeden Tag erhöht sich die Zahl jener die mich am Arsch lecken können.

-- unknown

Life is complex: it has a real and imaginary part.

-- unknown

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

-- Isaac Asimov

I think the people above me are having sex either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

-- unknown

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

-- unknown

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

-- unknown

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that is not there.

-- William James (1842-1910)

The linux philosophy is to laugh in the face of danger. Oops. Wrong one. Do it yourself. Thats it.

-- Linus Torvalds

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

-- Derek Bok

You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem.

-- Edwards' Law

Don't underestimate how low you can go. People have been known to hit rock bottom, and start digging.

-- unknown

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.

-- Dick Brandon

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

-- unknown

The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.

-- Albert Einstein

Sir, I have found you an explanation, but I am not obliged to find you an understanding.

-- unknown

Engineers aren't boring people; we just get excited over boring things.

-- unknown

Production of useful work is limited by the laws of thermodynamics, but the production of useless work seems to be unlimited.

-- Donald Simanek

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

-- Thomas A. Edison

Marketing ist die Kunst, Leuten Sachen zu verkaufen, die sie nicht brauchen, mit Geld, was sie nicht haben, um Leute zu beeindrucken, die sie nicht mögen.

-- unknown

It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.

-- Thomas Jefferson

Das Weltall und die Dummheit der Menschen ist unendlich. Beim Weltall bin ich mir aber nicht sicher.

-- Albert Einstein

Testing? What's that? If it compiles, it is good, if it boots up it is perfect.

-- Linus Torvalds

A deep, unwavering belief is a sure sign you're missing something...

-- unknown

Those who suppress freedom always do so in the name of law and order.

-- John V. Lindsay

It took the computational power of three Commodore 64s to fly to the moon. It takes a 486 to run Windows 95. Something is wrong here.

-- SC sig file

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense.

-- E. W. Dijkstra

The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.

-- Linus Torvalds, founder of Linux

Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS!

-- unknown

FORTRAN - 'the infantile disorder', by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly inadequate for whatever computer application you have in mind today: it is now too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use.

-- E.W.Dijkstra, 1975

PL/I - 'the fatal disease' - belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.

-- E.W.Dijkstra, 1975

It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

-- E.W.Dijkstra, 1975

APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for the programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums.

-- E.W.Dijkstra, 1975

Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what it can STOP doing AGAINST you.

-- Abu Zeresh

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.

-- Yogi Berra

Ich bin nichts, ich kann nichts, gebt mir eine Uniform!

-- unknown

Neither individuals nor corporations have any right to come into court and ask that the clock of history be stopped.

-- unknown

Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself.

-- Potter Stewart

Sages do not display themselves, therefore they are illuminated.
They do not define themselves, therefore they are distinguished.
They do not make claims, therefore they are credited.
They do not boast, therefore they advance.
Since, indeed, they do not compete, the world cannot compete with them.

-- Loa Tsu, Chapter 22, The Tao Te Ching

Shaw's Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

-- unknown

I assume that a sufficiently skilled will be able to do anything not explicitly forbidden by the hardware.

-- Bjarne Stroustrup (quoting when some moron tried to flame him for C++'s perceived lack of security)

DUMBASS, It's Lack of Parenting,
NOT Video Games.

-- unknown

Erfahrung ist eine nützliche Sache. Leider macht man sie immer erst, kurz nachdem man die braucht.

-- Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Why waste time learning when ignorance is instantaneous?

-- Hobbes

Corporate limbo: No matter how much you lower the bar, someone will always try to go under it.

-- unknown

A high IQ is like a Jeep; you will still get stuck, just farther from help!

-- unknown

Wenn man keine Ahnung hat: einfach mal Fresse halten!

-- Dieter Nuhr

Never argue with a fool, you'll be brought down to his level and he'll beat you with experience.

-- unknown

A fool with a tool is just a fool!

-- unknown

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

-- Slashdot

I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger, the solution is ignorance.

-- Isaac Asimov

Winners compare their achievments to their goals, losers compare theirs to that of others.

-- ARMONK, NY - Aug. 8

There is no great genius without a tincture of madness.

-- Seneca

He may look like an idiot, and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

-- unknown

If Windoze is the answer, can we please have the problem back?

-- unknown

Don't be mad at MS for NT sucking. After all, it is their first OS.

-- unknown

Windows NT was designed to be administered by an idiot and usually is...

-- unknown

Microsoft is a cross between the Borg and the Ferengi. Unfortunately, they use Borg to do their marketing and Ferengi to do their programming.

-- Simon Slavin

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

-- Bill Hicks

The truth is more important than the facts.

-- unknown

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.

-- unknown

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

-- unknown

An infinite number of rednecks, in an infinite number of pickup trucks, firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, will produce all the great works of literature - in Braille.

-- unknown

Every day in every way, I was getting worse and worse until I stopped trying to be like other people.

-- unknown

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up.

-- unknown

Everyone brings happiness to this office - some when they arrive and some when they leave.

-- unknown

I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening.

-- unknown

Treat every person with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you. Remember that you show compassion to others not because of who THEY are but because of who YOU are.

-- unkonown

Education is a process that either never begins or never ends.

-- unknown

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

-- unknown

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

-- unknown

It's not a cult. Think of it as a gang of morons who have nothing better to do with their lives.

-- unknown

In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact.

-- unknown

A surplus is when politicians can't decide on where to waste all the money.

-- unknown

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.

-- unknown

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

-- unknown

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

-- unknown

We really need only five things on this earth. Some food, some sun, some work, some fun, and someone.

-- unknown

Talking with a man is like trying to saddle a cow. You work like hell, but what's the point?

-- unknown

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

-- unknown

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money, power and influence.

-- unknown

Anything not worth doing well, is not worth doing at all.

-- unknown

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

-- unknown

To become one with your computer is to reach a state of... nerdvana.

-- unknown

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

-- unknown

The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.

-- unknown

People grow old, some grow wise.

-- me, 2004

True freedom is the right to say something that others don't want to hear.

-- George Orwell

What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.

-- Salman Rushdie

The first amendment wasn't made to protect people who say things you like to hear it was made to protect people who says things you don't want to hear.

-- unknown

The future is always scary to those who cling to the past.

-- Tim O'Reilly

Man kann gar nicht so viel fressen, wie man kotzen möchte.

-- Max Liebermann

I cannot rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that would provoke such a question.

-- Charles Babbage. He was asked whether his analytical engine will, in spite of being given erroneous input, nevertheless arrive at the desired answer.

Freiheit bedeutet Verantwortlichkeit. Das ist der Grund, weshalb sich die meisten Menschen vor ihr fürchten.

-- George Bernard Shaw

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

-- Abraham Maslow

If it doesn't make you say 'WTF' it isn't from Microsoft!

-- Slashdot poster (39923)

If you dont live for something, you'll die for nothing.

-- unknown

Do not look at laser with remaining eye.

-- unknown

Bill Gates is a Persian cat and a monocle away from being a villain in a James Bond movie.

-- Dennis Miller

Managers' claims that they didn't hear the engineers' concerns were due in part to their not asking or listening.

-- unknown

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

-- Albert Einstein

The only thing more frightening than a programmer with a screwdriver or a hardware engineer with a program is a user with a pair of wire cutters and the root password.

-- Elizabeth Zwicky

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

-- Horace Walpole

People that think logically are a nice contrast to the real world.

-- Matt Biershbach

The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late.

-- Seymour Cray

Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers.

-- Robert Hummel

If your project doesn't work, look for the part that you didn't think was important.

-- Arthur Bloch

Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any other factor.

-- Barry Boehm

An organisation that treats its programmers as morons will soon have programmers that are willing and able to act like morons only.

-- Bjarne Stroustrup

The problem with quick and dirty is that dirty remains long after quick is forgotten.

-- unknown

The one time Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck, it'll probably be a vaccuum cleaner.

-- unknown

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.

-- Edmond de Goncourt

Those who speak most of progress measure it by quantity and not by quality.

-- George Santayana

It is characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.

-- Henry David Thoreau

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

-- Philip K. Dick

The truly educated man ist that rare idividual who can separate reality from illusion.

-- unknown

It is a very sad thing that nowdays there is so little useless information.

-- Oscar Wilde

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

-- H. H. Williams

Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.

-- David Starr Jordan

Men have become fools with their tools.

-- Thomas Elisha Stewart

No amount of artificial reinforcement can offset the natural inequalities of human individuals.

-- Henry P. Fairchild

Education is like a double-edged sword. It may be turned to dangerous uses if it is not properly handled.

-- Wu Ting-Fang

If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to patent and copyright violations.

-- Thomas De Quincey

If you shoot for the moon and miss, you'll still end up amongst the stars.

-- unknown

How many voters does it take to change a lightbulb? ... None, voters can't change anything.

-- unknown

Nichts ist im Verstand, was nicht vorher in den Sinnen war, ausser dem Verstand selbst.

-- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

It doesn't matter how beautiful your theroy is, it doesn't matter how smart you are - if it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong.

-- R.P. Feynman

Microsoft: The technologies of today - TOMORROW!

-- unknown

When did sex become a bad thing? Did I miss a meeting?

-- Bill Hicks

MacOS ist für Leute, die nicht wissen wollen, warum es funktioniert.
Linux ist für Leute, die wissen wollen, warum es funktioniert.
Windows ist für Leute, die nicht wissen wollen, warum es nicht funktioniert.

-- unknown

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

-- Salvor Hardin

An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens.

-- unknown

f u cn rd ths u mst uz unix

-- unknown

We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.

-- Mark Twain

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.

-- unknown

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

-- Bill Cosby

A witty saying proves nothing.

-- Voltaire

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

-- Bertrand Russell

Even an ad-hoc, informally-specified, bug-ridden, slow implementation of half of Common Lisp is better than most other languages.

-- unknown

Any sufficiently complicated C or Fortran program contains an ad-hoc, informally-specified, bug-ridden, slow implementation of half of Common Lisp.

-- Greenspun's Tenth Rule of Programming

Don't be too hard on the lawyers - it's just 99% of them that give the rest a bad name.

-- unknown

Wenn alle Leute nur dann redeten, wenn sie etwas zu sagen haben, würden die Menschen sehr bald den Gebrauch der Sprache verlieren.

-- William Somerset Maugham, english author, 1874-1965

Wie es das Kennzeichen grosser Geister ist, mit wenig Worten viel zum Ausdruck zu bringen, so haben die kleinen Geister hingegen die Gabe, viel zu reden und nichts zu sagen.

-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld, french author, 1613-1680

Selig ist der, der nichts zu sagen hat und trotzdem schweigt.

-- Kurt Sowinetz, Schauspieler

Perl terrifies me, it looks like an explosion in an ASCII factory.

-- svunt (916464), found on Slashdot

It's marketing. If they had the ability to make contact with reality, they'd be in engineering.

-- ConceptJunkie (24823), found on Slashdot

I predict that Eighth Generation computers
will compile no programs, run no applications,
and access no data. Instead they will be
designed and tuned to give a continuously
variable spectrum of elegant and precise
error messages describing your failure to
induce them to do so.

-- Blair P. Houghton

The key to performance is elegance, not battalions of special cases.

-- Jon Bentley and Doug McIlroy

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? The why call him God?

-- Epicurus (371-271 BC)

Never wrestle with a pig; you both get dirty, and you soon discover that the pig enjoys it.

-- unknown

People should not be afraid of their government - Governments should be afraid of their people.

-- unknown

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

-- Carl Sagan

In the beginning there was nothing. Then, God said, 'Let there be light'. And there was still nothing, but at least you could see it.

-- unknown

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

-- H. L. Mencken

Wer Sicherheit der Freiheit vorzieht ist zu Recht ein Sklave.

-- Aristoteles

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

-- unknown

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

-- Arthur C. Clarke

If you pay peanuts you get monkeys.

-- unknown

Drive Carefully. Most people are caused by accidents.

-- unknown

Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others.

-- Groucho Marx

If one would give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest man, I would find something in them to have him hanged.

-- Cardinal Richelieu

What's the difference between a C programmer and a LISP programmer?
A LISP programmer knows the value of everything and the cost of nothing.
A C programmer knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

-- Todd Proebsting, 2002

Die Bürger demokratischer Gesellschaften sollten Kurse für geistige Selbstverteidigung besuchen, um sich gegen Manipulation und Kontrolle wehren zu können ...

-- Noam Chomsky, in: Media Control, 2003

Das Spionieren auf der Welt
Als bestes Handwerk mir gefällt;
Ich schnüffle hin, ich schnüffle her
Ich schleich herum, mal kreuz, mal quer.

Mit meinen Ohren lang und weit
Steh ich zum Horchen stets bereit,
Und mir entgeht kein einzig Wort,
Ich merke alles mir sofort.

Dafür empfang ich guten Lohn
im eignen Pflichtbewusstsein schon,
Und unsre Zeit, sie ist mir hold,
Bald wiegt sie mich wohl auf in Gold.

So steh in hoher Achtung ich,
und der Philister liebet mich.
Auch fühl ich weder Scham noch Schand,
Ich bin ein braver Denunziant.

-- Sozialdemokratisches Liederbuch von 1897

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

-- Billy Crystal

How can I explain it to you in terms you understand, when I myself can't understand it using only terms you understand?

-- anonymous coward on slashdot

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

-- unknown

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?

-- Kelvin Throop III

I've found that the more a manufacturer hypes a product the more likely it is to be a flash in the pan...

-- unknown

My hatred of Java has nothing to do with speed. The platform has become a giant morass of 'enterprisey' 'solutions' that create more need for more 'solutions'. And all Java 'solutions' must somehow involve XML, because it's standard, and enterprisey.

-- unknown

Extreme Programming - Redundant Array of Inexpensive Developers

-- unknown

Religion can never reform mankind because religion is slavery.

-- Robert G. Ingersoll, 1833-1899

Power Corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

-- Lord Action, English Historian, 1834-1902

Prayer - How to do nothing and still think you're helping.

-- unknown

Jeder hat das Recht auf Meinungsfreiheit und freie Meinungsäusserung. Dieses Recht schliesst die Freiheit ein, Meinungen ungehindert anzufügen, sowie über Medien jder Art und ohne Rücksicht auf Grenzen, Informationen und Gedankengut zu suchen, zu empfangen und zu verbreiten.

-- Art. 19, Allgemeine Menschenrechtserklärung der Vereinten Nationen

Das Wort Gott ist für mich nicht mehr als ein Ausdruck und ein Produkt menschlicher Schwäche, die Bibel eine Sammlung von ehrenwerten, aber primitiven Legenden, die ziemlich kindisch sind.

-- Albert Einstein, 1954

"... Nun, natürlich, das Volk will keinen Krieg", sagte Göring achselzuckend. "Warum sollte irgendein armer Landarbeiter im Krieg sein Leben aufs Spiel setzen wollen, wenn das Beste ist, was er dabei herausholen kann, dass er mit heilen Knochen zurückkommt. Natürlich, das einfache Volk will keinen Krieg; weder in Russland, noch in England, noch in Amerika, und ebenso wenig in Deutschland. Das ist klar. Aber schliesslich sind es die Führer eines Landes, die die Politik bestimmen, und es ist immer leicht, das Volk zum Mitmachen zu bringen, ob es sich nun um eine Demokratie, eine faschistische Diktatur, um ein Parlament oder eine kommunistische Diktatur handelt. ... das Volk kann mit oder ohne Stimmrecht immer dazu gebracht werden, den Befehlen der Führer zu folgen. Das ist ganz einfach. Man braucht nichts zu tun, als dem Volk zu sagen, es würde angegriffen, und den Pazifisten ihren Mangel an Patriotismus vorzuwerfen und zu behaupten, sie brächten das Land in Gefahr. Diese Methode funktioniert in jedem Land.

-- Nürnberger Tagebuch / von G.M. Gilbert. Ehemaliger Gerichts-Psychologe beim Nürnberger Prozess gegen die Hauptkriegsverbrecher. Aus dem Amerikanischen übertragen von Margaret Carroux - Fischer: Frankfurt a.M., 1962. - 455 S.

Erst wenn wir alles verloren haben, haben wir die Freiheit alles zu tun.

-- unknown

Um ein tadelloses Mitglied einer Schafherde sein zu können, muss man vor allem ein Schaf sein.

-- Albert Einstein

Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby.

-- unknown

Athesim is a non-prophet organization.

-- unknown

There is no god, and Dawkins is his prophet.

-- unknown

The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.

-- Plato

XML is like violence: if it doesn't solve your problem, you're not using enough of it.

-- unknown

Linux - Wenn du wissen willst, warum es funktioniert.
Mac - Wenn du nicht wissen willst, warum es funktioniert.
Windows - Wenn du nicht wissen willst, warum es nicht funktioniert.

-- unknown

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.

-- Albert Einstein

Alle Wege führen an Redmond vorbei.

-- unknown

Wenn Argumente fehlen, kommt meist ein Verbot heraus.

-- Oliver Hassencamp, dt. Schriftsteller, 1921-1988

Wenn Unrecht zu Recht wird, wird Widerstand zur Pflicht!

-- Bertolt Brecht

Religion: "When you have created something from nothing, rather than simple measure something accurately, give us a call"
To which man replies: "We created you, Religion, out of absolutely nothing!"

-- unknown, found on Slashdot

Demagogie betreibt, wer bei günstiger Gelegenheit öffentlich für ein politisches Ziel wirbt, indem er der Masse schmeichelt, an ihre Gefühle, Instinkte und Vorurteile appelliert, ferner sich der Hetze und Lüge schuldig macht, Wahres übertrieben oder grob vereinfacht darstellt, die Sache, die er durchsetzen will, für die Sache aller Gutgesinnten ausgibt, und die Art und Weise, wie er sie durchsetzt oder durchzusetzen vorschlägt, als die einzig mögliche hinstellt.

-- Martin Morlock 1977

All sufficiently complex programming languages will, over time, expand its features until it reinvents LISP.

-- unknown

Only a madman or an economist thinks exponential growth can go on forever in a finite world.

-- unknown

Did you really think that we want those laws to be observed? We want them broken. [...] We're after power and we mean it. [...] There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What's there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced nor objectively interpreted - and you create a nation of law-breakers - and then you cash in on guilt.

-- Atlas Shrugged, 1957

The problem with socialism is eventually you run out of other people's money.

-- Thatcher

Formerly, we suffered from crimes. Now, we suffer from laws.

-- Tacitus

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

-- John F. Kennedy

I contend we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.

-- Stephen F. Roberts

Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victim may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated, but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

-- C.S. Lewis

A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.

-- W. Durant

Die Gedanken sind frei wer kann sie erraten? Sie fliehen vorbei wie nächtliche Schatten. Kein Mensch kann sie wissen, kein Jäger erschiessen mit Pulver und Blei: Die Gedanken sind frei!

-- unknown

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-- George Bernard Shaw

Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.

They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.

You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,
disbelieve them, glorify them or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.

Because they change things.
They invent. They imagine. They heal.
They explore. They create. They inspire.
They push the human race forward.

Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.
Because while some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

And it's the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world who actually do.

-- unknown

Physik ist, wenn jemand in einem dunklen Raum mit verbundenen Augen eine schwarze Katze sucht.
Philosophie ist, wenn jemand in einem dunklen Raum mit verbundenen Augen eine schwarze Katze sucht, die gar nicht da ist.
Theologie ist, wenn jemand in einem dunklen Raum mit verbundenen Augen eine schwarze Katze sucht, die gar nicht da ist und ruft: "Hurra, ich hab sie!"


Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

-- unknown

"Agile" programming is when you stop looking surprised and outraged when the customer changes the project requirements on you every few days.

-- unknown

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

-- Frank Herbert

It's not that we need new ideas, but we need to stop having old ideas.

-- Edwin Land

Marketing is what you do when your product is no good.

-- Edwin Land

Solange unser Planet weiter von einer antisozialen, verantwortungslosen, verlogenen, scheinheiligen, selbstverliebten, bigotten, intoleranten, geldgierigen, selbstsüchtigen, rücksichtslosen, skrupellosen, betrügerischen, hinterhältigen, machtbessenen, herrschsüchtigen, gewaltbereiten, menschenverachtenden Minderheit regiert wird besteht nur wenig Hoffnung auf Verbesserung der allgemeinen Umstände.

-- Karl Frank, Heise Forum

manche meinen
lechts und rinks
kann man nicht velwechsern
werch ein illtum

-- Ernst Jandl

I like offending people, because I think people who get offended should be offended.

-- Linus Torvalds, 2012