Warum Windows(tm) kein Virus ist
©
/ Mario Konrad
Warum Windows(tm) kein Virus ist …
- Ein Virus ist klein und schnell.
- Ein Virus ist gut durchdacht.
- Ein Virus arbeitet fehlerfrei.
- Einen Virus kann man problemlos entfernen.
- Der Programmierer des Virus kennt dessen Funktionen.
- Einen Virus muß man nicht registrieren und täglich updaten.
- Der Schaden den ein Virus anrichtet ist vorhersehbar.
- Ein Virus ist gratis.
Why Windows(tm) not a Virus is …
- Viruses are free.
- Viruses can be gotten from any good bbs.
- If detected soon enough, most viruses can be removed from your computer without a huge loss of data and time.
- Viruses don’t take up HUGE wads of disk space.
- Viruses don’t need 4meg of ram to run.
- Viruses do something.
- Viruses come in flavors, not just one-size-fits-all.
- Viruses use the “cutting edge” programming skills to make themselves less noticable. (untill they are ready to be noticed)
- Viruses don’t have major bugs. (if they do, then they don’t work, so they’re not virus’)
- Viruses don’t have three different sets of documentation that is all mixed up and wrong.
- Viruses don’t leak things to the press about the upcomming Jerusalem 95, to keep people from switching to Michelangelo/2 Warp or better yet, XJerusalem.
- Viruses don’t put out stupid two page adds in magazines centered around the march 6 “activate button”.
- Viruses arn’t on every computer.
- Viruses don’t have stupid wizards.
- Who cares if a virus is 16 bit, even though it is advertised as 32?
- Viruses don’t say that they are user “friendly”, when they arn’t.
- Viruses can run on PCDOS without warnings.
- Viruses when installing themselves don’t try to send private info about your computer over the phone lines to microstoned-net.
- Viruses install themselves.
- Viruses don’t try to push out all compitition. They just try to do their job.
- Viruses maker’s don’t try to buy Intuit (makers of Quicken (wouldn’t that be fun, America’s biggest finacial software company owned by a virus maker))
- Viruses don’t invade and take over PC Magazine, filling it with 100% junk on Win95.
- Viruses don’t try to copy what Apple does.
- There are programs you can buy, or get free to remove viruses.