Signs that you play too much DOOM
©
/ Mario Konrad
- You attempt to change lanes on the freeway by strafing left.
- You keep trying to pick things up by walking over them.
- You eat the blue and green balls off the Christmas tree.
- You feel lousy and look down for the status bar.
- You grab your kid’s backpack and can’t believe it’s empty!?
- Your desk at work is piled with paper because you refuse get too close to the recycle barrel.
- The only way your spouse can get your attention is to throw tomatoes at you.
- Your PC boots straight into DOOM unless you press a key.
- Your desk is wearing away right in front of the arrow keys.
- You back-up your DOOM files daily.
- You try to double click on every door in the house.
- You use the alarm clock to tell you when to GO to bed.
- Your seat cushion doesn’t return to normal upright position.
- You dress up as your favourite DOOM character for Halloween (and your friends still know who you are).
- You will try to turn to get out of chair by moving the trackball in that direction before you stand up.
- You expect every door to open up, not in. (this can be quite painful sometimes)
- You throw open the door to your house, jump backwards, and shoot your mailman.
- When on your way to work you scan the streets for medkits and ammo.
- Going into a room or getting off an elevator, you run in and out quickly to see what follows you out.
- You don’t worry so much about getting hurt, since you’ll probably pick up one of those blue spheres somewhere.
- Watching someone come out of an elevator makes your mouse finger twitch.
- You start side-stepping into rooms.
- You push on walls as you walk down the hall, looking for secret entrances.
- You reach for your chainsaw when your wife’s cold gives her the sniffles.
- You instinctively target trash cans while walking around campus/work.
- You look for sniper spots above you when getting in an elevator.
- You can’t stop squinting as you walk around your house.
- You think you can actually walk through walls.
- The border and status area are burned into your monitor.
- You know ALL the ID codes by heart.