Prime Numbers are Odd

©
/ Mario Konrad

**Mathematician:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and by induction we have that all the odd integers are prime.

**Physicist:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is an experimental error...

**Engineer:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime...

**Chemist:** 1 prime, 3 prime, 5 prime... hey, let's publish!

**Modern physicist using renormalization:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 9/3 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, 15 is ... 15/3 is prime, 17 is prime, 19 is prime, 21 is ... 21/3 is prime..

**Quantum Physicist:** All numbers are equally prime and non-prime until observed.

**Professor:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and the rest are left as an exercise for the student.

**Confused Undergraduate:** Let p be any prime number larger than 2. Then p is not divisible by 2, so p is odd. QED

**Measure nontheorist:** There are exactly as many odd numbers as primes (Euclid, Cantor), and exactly one even prime (namely 2), so there must be exactly one odd nonprime (namely 1).

**Cosmologist:** 1 is prime, yes it is true...

**Computer Scientist:** 1 is prime, 10 is prime, 11 is prime, 101 is prime...

**Programmer:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be fixed in the next release, ...

**C programmer:** 01 is prime, 03 is prime, 05 is prime, 07 is prime, 09 is really 011 which everyone knows is prime, ...

**BASIC programmer:** What's a prime?

**COBOL programmer:** What's an odd number?

**Windows programmer:** 1 is prime. Wait...

**Mac programmer:** Now why would anyone want to know about that? That's not user friendly. You don't worry about it, we'll take care of it for you.

**Bill Gates:** 1. No one will ever need any more than 1.

**Steve Ballmer:** *dancing_and_sweating* prime numbers, prime numbers, prime numbers ... I love this company!

**ZX-81 Computer Programmer:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, Out of Memory.

**Pentium owner:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 8.9999978 is prime...

**GNU programmer:**

```
% prime
usage: prime [-nV] [--quiet] [--silent] [--version] [-e script] --catenate --concatenate | c --create | d --diff --compare | r --append | t --list | u --update | x -extract --get [ --atime-preserve ] [ -b, --block-size N ] [ -B, --read-full-blocks ] [ -C, --directory DIR ] [--checkpoint ] [ -f, --file [HOSTNAME:]F ] [ --force-local ] [ -F, --info-script F --new-volume-script F ] [-G, --incremental ] [ -g, --listed-incremental F ] [ -h, --dereference ] [ -i, --ignore-zeros ] [ --ignore-failed-read ] [ -k, --keep-old-files ] [ -K, --starting-file F ] [ -l, --one-file-system ] [ -L, --tape-length N ] [ -m, --modification-time ] [ -M, --multi-volume ] [ -N, --after-date DATE, --newer DATE ] [ -o, --old-archive, --portability ] [ -O, --to-stdout ] [ -p, --same-permissions, --preserve-permissions ] [ -P, --absolute-paths ] [ --preserve ] [ -R, --record-number ] [ [-f script-file] [--expression=script] [--file=script-file] [file...]
prime: you must specify exactly one of the r, c, t, x, or d options
For more information, type "prime --help''
```

**Unix programmer:**

```
1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, ...
Segmentation fault, Core dumped.
```

**Computer programmer:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is ... Oops, let's try that again: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 1 is ... Um, right. Okay, how about this: 1 is prime, 3 is not prime, 5 is not prime, 7 is not prime, 9 is not prime... So much for the beta releases. Ship this: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a feature, 11 is prime... and put on the cover: "More prime numbers than anyone else in the industry!" Coming soon: 1 is prime, 3 is a prime, 4 is a feature, 5 is a prime, 6 is a feature, 7 is a prime, 8 is not yet implemented, 9 is our backwards compatibility module, ...

**Computational linguist:** 1 is an odd prime, 3 is an odd prime, 5 is an odd prime, 7 is an odd prime, 9 is a very odd prime, ...

**Software tech support operator:** Well, we haven't had any reports of composite odd numbers... do you have the latest version of ZFC?

**Web Designer (1):** `<prime value="1">`

, `<prime value="3">`

, `<prime value="5">`

,...

**Web Designer (2):** `<prime>`

1`</prime>`

, `<prime>`

3`</prime>`

, `<prime>`

5`</prime>`

, ...

**Logician:**

**Hypothesis:**All odd numbers are prime**Proof:**If a proof exists, then the hypothesis must be true. The proof exists; you're reading it now. From 1 and 2 follows that all odd numbers are prime.

**Linguist:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 aaah. I can make 9 a prime.

**Philosopher (1):** Why don't we just call all the odd numbers prime and call all the prime numbers odd, that way all the odd numbers would be prime.

**Philosopher (2):** 1 is prime. Hum, that's an interesting statement, I'll get one of my research students to look into that.

**Economist (1):** Assume 9 is prime ...

**Economist (2):** 2 is a prime, 4 is a prime.

**Economist (3):** 2 is even, 4 is even, 6 is even ...

**Economist (4):** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime. Look, the prime rate is dropping.

**Statistician:** 100% of the sample 5, 13, 37, 41 and 53 is prime, so all odd numbers must be prime.

**Mechanical Statistician:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is an outlier, 11 is prime, 13 is prime ...

**English major:** What's a prime number?

**Politician (1):** What's a number?

**Politician (2):** It depends on what the meaning of is is.

**Philosophy major:** What is?

**Athletic scholarship:** What!?

**Mid-level manager:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is... Who can I delegate this to?

**Manager (2):** What?

**Lawyer:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, although there appears to be prima facie evidence that 9 is not prime, there exists substantial precedent to indicate that nine should be considered prime. The following brief presents the case for nine's primeness ...

**Salesman:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and with 9 you get five excellent primes for the price of three!

**Anthropologist:** Prime or not, every number is unique. Take 9 for example ...

**Liberal:** The fact that nine is not prime indicates a deprived cultural environment which can only be remedied by a federally funded cultural enrichment program.

**New Yorker:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!

**rec.humor poster:** 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime

**Bush (Senior):** What's nine got against being prime? I'll bet it won't allow the pledge of allegiance to be said in our schools either.

**George W. Bush (Junior):** All prime numbers are terrorists.

**George W. Bush (Junior):** All prime numbers must be liberated, let's bomb them.

**Nixon:** Put nine on the enemies list. I'm gonna get that number.

**John F. Kennedy:** I am a prime number!

**Microsoft (1):** Our revolutionary new product Prime05™ will be the only prime number you will erver need.

**Microsoft (2):** Prime07™ is even more prime.

**Romanticist:** There's no prime like 9.

**Optimist:** Half the numbers are prime, the odd ones.

**Pessimist:** Half the numbers are not prime, the even ones.

**SCO:** All primes are our intellectual property. You can buy a licence for $699.

**Richard Stallman (RMS):** Primes want to be free!

**Women's libber (1):** All prime numbers are even because the odd ones are male.

**Women's libber (2):** 1 is she-prime, 3 is she-prime, 5 is she-prime, 7 is she-prime, ...

**Student:** 1, 3, 5, 7 ... you wanna fries with that?

**Hollywood (1):** "Prime 9 - The Return" in a cinema near you!

**Hollywood (2):** "Prime Wars - Attack of the Primes" best movie of the year!

**Republican:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is communist, ...

**Star Trek:** Even Numbers, where no primes have gone before.

**Jedi Knight:** *sways_hand* 9 is not the prime you are looking for!

**Yoda:** prime 1 is, prime 3 is, prime 5 is, prime 7 is, a disturbance of the force 9 is, ...

**X-Files:** 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 ... must be an alien conspiracy ...

**Matrix (1):** Take the the blue pill and wake up. Take the red pill any I'll show you what the prime numbers are.

**Matrix (2):** Unfortunately, no one can be told what prime numbers are, you have to see them for yourself.

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