Somebody left a Glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reactions?
Optimist The Glass is half full.
Pessimist The Glass is half empty.
Futurist The milk’s in the wrong half of the Glass.
Pascal programmers Well, what type of milk is it?
C Programmers No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
Assembly programmers No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers No thanks; I’m still breast feeding.
MIS COBOL programmers I’LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
Fuzzy logic guys I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
Prolog programmers I know I drank it-just don’t ask me how.
Non-procedural language programmers I drank it when nobody was looking.
UI designers What’s that crap in my Glass?
Pentium users I drank Glass *.49999999…but don’t hold me to that.
Windows users Where’s my straw?
Mac users Where’s my pump?
UNIX users Nahhh…too easy.
Multimedia author [slurp!]
Shareware game author That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Security consultant Where’d the rest of the milk go?
CIA What makes you think that’s milk?
NSA We know what it really is.
Copy protection crazies Somebody drank half my milk and didn’t pay for it!
Free Software Foundation That milk is the cow’s contribution to all mankind!
Schroedinger That damned cat got into the milk again!
Bill Gates Not enough market share to be Microsoft(R) Milk[TM]
Apple Computer You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier
IBM Rent the Glass from us and we’ll fill it with something we know is good for you.
IRS Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.
National news media Hey, we wanted OJ!