(The real story about Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker)
A furious light sabre duel is under way. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke’s hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks round, but realizes there’s nowhere to go but straight down.
VADER: “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.”
LUKE: “He told me enough! He told me you killed him!”
VADER: “No! I am your father!”
LUKE: “No, it’s not true! It’s impossible.”
VADER: “Search your feelings; you know it to be true.”
LUKE: “NO!”
VADER: “Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?”
LUKE: “Threepio?”
VADER: “Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old.”
LUKE: “No.”
VADER: “Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn’t even levitate your own ship out of the swamp.”
LUKE: “I destroyed your precious Death Star!”
VADER: “When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!”
LUKE: “Well, it’s not my fault.”
VADER: “Oh, here we go. ‘Poor me! My father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Boo hoo! My daddy’s the Dark Lord of the Sith. Wahhh wahhh!’”
LUKE: “Shut up.”
VADER: “You’re a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!”
LUKE: “I used to race my T-16 through Beggar’s Canyon!”
VADER: “Oh, for the love of the Emperor, 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!”
Luke looks down the shaft and takes a step toward it.
VADER: “I was wrong. You’re not my kid. I don’t know who you are. But you’re certainly no relation to me.”
Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.
VADER: “And get a haircut!”